pro/con lists

you know how when you can't make up your mind about something, someone will give you the bright idea of making a pro/con list. there's only one thing i have to say about that: pro shmo, con shmon.
if you are a naturally cautious or realistic (euphemism for negative) person, it can be quite scary making one of those lists because what if there are more cons than pros even with things that are actually right for you.
for example lets say i am not sure if i should date george. if i were to solve the question simply by making a pro/con list it would go something like this:

DATING GEORGE
pros:
he is funny
he has 10 italian restaurants
he is a good kisser
he is kind to me

cons:
he picks his nose
he hates my sister
he forgets my birthday
he never gets me flowers
he tells me what to do
he talks about his ex
he argues with cops
he drinks too much coffee

ok so, as we can see there are more cons than pros even though i really like george
SO, just to balance this out i have to make an opposite pro/con list

NOT DATING GEORGE
pros:
i get more time to myself
my sis will hang out with me more

cons:
i will lose a friend (he's so funny)
i will be lonely & eat all day
no more italian food
no more of his jokes
i will miss the kisses
george will be angry at me for breaking up with him


see... this is SO not a good way to make decisions.
pro shmo, con shmon, i say.

rainbow scats

3 year old lina was looking at a kids map:
"this is japan (probably the only country she knows exists), & this is rainbow scats." we thought that was funny & started asking her what goes on in "rainbow scats", her imaginary country.
as you can imagine all the girls have to wear pretty dresses...

last night carole was getting her undressed & into her PJs. lina said she had to go to the park right now. carole said that she can't go to the park naked, but lina said she was going to rainbow scats park.

this morning i asked her what people eat for breakfast at rainbow scats & of course it was: cake & ice cream.

got me wondering: what would aimee's rainbow scats be like....

keeping a diary

someone asked me why i said i was happy to start my 2011 diary after not being able to keep one before...
here is why:
what was the point of keeping one before when you have to sensor your thoughts. i shredded my entire diary notebook of poems from when i was 17 til 21 years of age to assure him that i didn't still love the people i had slept with &/or written about. this what you do to protect your loved ones from yourself.

Comments

i have changed this blogs comment setting so that random people can post random comments.
cheers.

to love yourself or not to love yourself...

I think every other new self help book carries the exact same message "love yourself", "be your best friend", etc, etc...
They claim that all the relationship problems would be cured if you could just learn to depend on yourself...blah blah.
I know I am not mother Teresa or anything but I would like to think that I spent a lot of my life catering to others & centering my life around my loved ones... Perhaps the cliche of "losing ones self" was me.
I talked to someone about that & they said: "Aimee, you know how they announce on airplanes that if there is an emergency, you must always put your own oxygen mask on before you help your children put on their masks? Well, life is like that & you are useless to anyone if you don't take care of yourself."
So I thought "cool... so the drowning feeling I have been feeling is my mind/souls way of telling me that I need to look out for #1. I can try that!"
After all the fashionable hype about being who you are & loving yourself, I thought I would serve myself a hearty helping of that... only to find that the minute I tried, LO & BEHOLD according to the people I loved I was now a SELFISH bitch because "no man is an island"
WTF, darned if you do & darned if you don't....
SO, what is really right again? I ask myself, losing yourself by being so preoccupied with making people happy or "LOVING YOURSELF"?
I come to the realisation that the occupational hazard of loving yourself probably means being alone & feeling alone most of the time. I would say that in order to truly be who you are you have to prepare yourself for the reality that you may not get the approval of your loved ones & they will choose to leave you.
Most people think that if you do what you want & if you don't do what they want you to do that you DO NOT LOVE THEM. This is not true.
You can love someone AND still want to do what you want to do.
The only way "loving yourself" would work is if not just YOU see its importance, but if your partners & family see its importance as well.
If they could understand that doing what I want to do doesn't mean I don't love them.....
yeah so that is my rant & wishful musings :)
peace

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i was just thinking...(rare) you know how poeople always say that they can picture themsleves growing old with someone? it probably makes better sense not to imagine such lofty visions for the future. what if the one you love dies or in some other way becomes lost to you, then you have to lose your pictures & dreams as well.

YEAH so I am starting a new blog

hurrah! was thinking of continuing on with my old blog that i stopped over a year ago, but everything is so different now i feel the need to start over.
i hardy remember how to operate blogger but its all good. maybe this one will be better.